WALKING!

Well, Lily, you've done it!

You're walking. No help, both hands full, sippy cup in your mouth, going full tilt. 7 or 8 steps at a time right now, but soon... running! Jumping hurdles! Skipping!

I can't believe how fast time has flown. Soon, you'll get to meet your aunt, uncle, and cousins. Soon, you'll be a year old. Soon, you'll be eating table food. It's going so fast! I can barely keep up. Daddy and I love seeing your little mind tick!

Look at how big you are getting. Soon, you'll be going to college, I'm sure!! Heh.

I love you, little Lillian!

Little Lily Who Doesn't Sleep

Oh, Lily, I feel like a terrible mama.
I've been trying to 'sleep-train' you, so you can go to sleep without me, or the boob, or someone holding you, or just passing out from sheer exhaustion. I tried doing this in a way that would be tears-free, and it didn't work. I am not one to have a lot of patience, and this method required so much of it! So I caved, and we started the 'Cry-It-Out' method. This involves routine, routine, routine. I changed things up to make your bedtime routine as calm and peaceful as possible. Now, after dinner, you have a bath, play a little bit, and then at 8 o'clock, it's booby, book and bed. I try to put you in your bed awake but sleepy, I give you a hug and a kiss and tell you I love you, and then I walk away.

Every time I walk away, it is the hardest thing I have ever done. You stand up. You start to wail, and then scream hysterically as I pass over the threshold of your room. I get out of sight and then I wait. Lately, you don't cry for long, but those tears are like little knives in my heart. My mind knows that I am trying to help you learn to sleep on your own! Mommy and Daddy need sleep, and co-sleeping isn't doing the trick anymore. When you are in the bed with us, you want to play and explore. You spit up on our sheets, and on our pillows, and on us. You wake frequently, and you talk. When you sleep in your own bed, you don't do most of these things. You sleep! It just takes some extra time and effort for this to work. It hurts now, and it seems sad now, but I know it will get better.

I hope that in the future, if you ever get to read any of this, you can understand why I did this. I love you, and I only want what's best for you. Right now, what's best for you is learning to sleep.

I love you now and always.

Stand up, Bug!

Lily,

You have recently started doing some very interesting and amusing things. You can blow raspberries, create big bubbles with your mouth, and STANDING UP on your own! You can cruise around, walking and holding onto the edges of furniture, and you crawl so fast now. It's amazing, seeing the difference a few weeks makes. You couldn't even crawl in the beginning of June! Just sitting back and watching you learn, practically hearing the wheels turn in your beautiful head is amazing. I am excited and dreading the moment you start walking (running!) because I know I will never have a peaceful moment EVER AGAIN. It's great!

Daddy got to take care of you overnight one day last week because I was in the hospital. It was hard to be away from both of you, because I love you both so much. He is more than capable of taking care of you, and you both came out alive- if not a little bit more tired than normal. He also took you to your 9 month appointment, where you were measured again. Just shy of 20 lbs, and 27" tall! So big. I am sure I will blink and you will be taller than me. Already my nephews are pretty much taller than me, which is a little freaky. Time flies! And your mama is short. What else is new??

I love my little Lady Bug!!

Little Bug, Standing Tall

Lily!
You are growing too fast. You can stand up for short periods of time now without really leaning on anything, and you got up to a standing position yesterday with no help from us or furniture or the dog or anything! It was great. I am so proud of my standing-up baby. I am sure you will be walking in no time.

Speaking of standing...
You are getting big and strong. Soon, we will be able to talk to each other, rather than at each other. You blather on in your baby syllables now, occasionally getting a recognizable word out (dada, mama, up) and I will chatter back at you about my day, and how pretty and smart and strong you are getting. I can't wait to be able to talk with you, and for us both to understand and listen, because I have some things I want to teach you. Somewhere down on that list is how to STAND UP. Specifically, stand up for what you believe in. Stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves. This can mean many things- don't bully, protect the weak, always tell the truth... it's such a vague concept, so I know I will be trying to teach it to you for the rest of my life. And I know, one day you will get it, and you will think, 'Thanks, Mom.' Well, I sure hope that's how it goes. I want to be the best possible influence I can be on you. The world doesn't have enough good people in it, so I want you to be one- a good, strong person who stands up for her beliefs, whatever they may  be.

I love you little girl,

Mama!

Teeth time in Ladybug-Ville!

Lily:
I was waiting to write this post until I could get a good picture, but you are not complying. So, I guess we'll do this post picture-less. You are finally getting your first tooth!! It's your bottom left one, and it's SHARP! Grammy Nancy and I were wandering around Wal-Mart, and you were chewing on her purse strap. I mentioned how you were probably going to leave teeth-marks all over the purse, even though you had no teeth. A few minutes later, you grabbed my finger and started chewing on it... TOOTH! A TOOTH! We were in the cake-decorating section, discussing what to do for your 1st birthday. Grammy felt it too! She was very excited that you cut your first tooth on her purse. It's still just barely out of the gum, but still there. Everyone is very excited for you!

I'm so excited to see you grow! One tooth now, a whole mouthful eventually! Also, I had a dream last night that you got up and started walking. So there is that, too!!

I love my little girl!!

First night away!

Ohhhhhh, Lily. Your daddy and I left you with your granmmy tonight. We went to a baseball game and left you overnight for the first time in your little life. Part of me is excited, and part of me misses you so much. Its just 1 day... And I will hold you again soooooon!
I love you, and miss you.

Bookworm

Dear, sweet Bug-

I wrote in your baby book today. I wanted to make sure you know about me, Daddy, and our families. I filled out the sections about the baby shower, your homecoming, current events when you were born... And I didn't sugar coat it. With over 5 billion people in the world today, there is a lot going on! Elections, wars, protests, discoveries and so much more.

I want you to look back on your childhood and see that I always tried to help you learn, to teach you without bias or prejudice. This is so important to me, because learning is essential to living. I want you to live, truly live. Who knows? Maybe you will go to Mars, or cure cancer, or star in movies. Whatever you do, you learn it, live it, and love it.

You are a big girl! I am watching you sleep. I love you, baby bug.

Time flies when you're Lily-bug

I called it, Lily! You started crawling last night. Heck, you probably started crawling at daycare or something like that, but still. I looked down, and there you were, on your hands and knees, crawling towards the dog. I gasped, and you sat up. You looked so innocent! And you proved it wasn't a fluke... you can crawl. You can pull yourself standing using the edge of furniture. You eat food like a champ. You sleep really well- still waking up once a night, but you don't fuss a lot. You are my beautiful, tough, hard working, smart little girl! I treasure every moment with you now because I will blink, and you will be moving away from me, starting your own life, instead of crawling towards me with your big toothless grin.

I love you, Lilybug!

Cuddles!

Dear Lily:
 You were a little sick yesterday. Just the standard baby stuff- runny, boogery nose, sleeping a lot, cuddly, a fever. Every time I put you down to go do something really quickly, you cried. Every time I fed you, you fell asleep after about 10 minutes. I'm pretty sure you think I must be everything- a source of food, comfort, a pillow, entertainment... I love it! I don't know how I manage to take you to daycare, sometimes. I wish I could be with you all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I have been thinking about your birthday party. 1 is a big number! 1 year old, in just a few short months. I want to have it Ladybug themed, with cupcakes and a smash cake and balloons and food and treats! They say that you won't remember your 1st birthday... but I will. And I will take pictures! With those pictures, I will show you how adorable you were one day in the future, perhaps when you are talking about having kids of your own.

We had to put up the babygates in the living room. With you moving around more (but not crawling... scooting, really) you have tried to eat the cord to the computer, the game controllers, a bottle of sunscreen and so much more. Everything goes in your mouth! And you pull yourself up to a standing position, laugh, and then dance with excitement. The little walker I bought for you just a few short weeks ago is no longer useful- you refuse to be in it because it doesn't let you move as much. The Johnny Jump-Up is still ok, because you like to bounce and spin. Babies go through stuff so fast!!

I love you, little girl.

Mommy Bug

Dear Little Lily,
I've been feeling under the weather lately, and the only thing that really cheers me up is your smile. You see, after giving birth to you I ended up fighting a nasty battle with Postpartum Depression and Postpartum OCD. All I ever wanted to do was protect you, help you grow, and keep you healthy. To do those things, I have to be healthy too! So I started taking medication. And today is the 5th day of not taking this medication... it's a hard road. But I want to be healthy and happy for you! The light is shining at the end of the tunnel, and I know I can do it.

I am thinking of introducing toast to you tonight. We eat lots of wheat bread in our house, and I think getting it toasted, cut up into sections and then spread with a little of your pureed baby food would be tasty. You are almost 8 months old now, eating so many things, moving around so much!

You still do not have any teeth. I am both thankful and anxious. Grandma tells me not to worry, and several of our friends had babies that didn't get teeth until 10 months and beyond, but I want to save you the pain and frustration of teeth erupting from your gums! There is nothing to be done about it, so we will just wait for that first little tooth, and celebrate it, as we have celebrated your other firsts.

I can't wait to see you when I go to pick you up from daycare. I love you!

Hungry Bug!

Dear Lilybug:

Right now, your favorite toy is the dog, Sway. You  seem to be fascinated with her tail, and it is the funniest thing! You really want to chew on her bones with her, which means the dog is constantly picking up whatever she was chewing on and moving out of your reach. She is very calm and patient with you, even when you grab her tail. I am sure Sway loves you- especially when you drop little scraps of food for her to eat!

Still no sign of crawling, but I know it will be any day now.

I love you, silly girl!!

Crawly-bug!

My little genius-

  You will be crawling soon. All week now, you've been rocking back and forth on your hands and knees. You can sit up by yourself, roll over, scoot and move around so fast! I am just amazed to see how much you have changed in 7 and a half months.  Look at this picture! You were so tiny. Any second, you will get up and walk, I am sure.  Time sure flies when you're having fun.

We're still breastfeeding, and I treasure that special time with you every day. You seem more interested in wiggling than eating these days, but I won't give up! I think your favorite toy right now is the little pink purse, and you have suddenly decided you like pacifiers again. You spent all week with Daddy, but I know you are probably excited to see your friends at day care again.

I love you very much. I can't wait to see where this week will take us!

Sleepy Bug

Dear Cutie Patootie:

 I've been trying to sleep-train you lately. I even bought a book- 'The No-Cry Sleep Solution' by Elizabeth Pantley. It basically says that there are two methods to putting your baby to sleep- tears, or time. The book is all about gentle, loving ways to help you to sleep... and so far, it's worked. I never knew babies needed help learning to sleep! You used to wake up every hour, and only want to sleep on me. Now, we've moved up your bedtime, and you sleep in a little play pen by our bed for most of the night. My goal is to have you in your crib by your birthday... amazing, I know! Your own big girl room.

You are getting so big! This week has been different, because you've been home with Daddy. I wish you could stay home with one of us all the time. It is so nice to see you on my lunch break! Today, you smiled and clapped when I came in. I nursed you and we cuddled for a bit. It definitely brightened my day.

Thank you for being such a lovely baby, sleepyhead. I'll see you in the morning.

Daddy bug

What my family is doing while I am working...

Messy bug!

Hello, little Lilybug!

I think you have really gotten the hang of this whole self-feeding thing. I tried to feed you a little baby food for lunch today, and you tried to take the spoon out of my hand. You chattered away while I tried to shovel food in your mouth, splattering me (and the chair, and the floor, and the dog) with liquid chicken noodle soup. And this was just lunch!

So far, you have learned to feed yourself: sweet potato, broccoli, pasta with tomato sauce, avocado, banana, apple, cheerios, baby puffs, rice crackers, freeze dried yogurt... soon, when you decide to pop out a tooth or two, we will expand that list even more. I am so proud of you!

As I am writing this, you are doing your favorite thing- shouting 'DADADADADADA' at the top of your lungs, even though Dada went to go pick up lunch. I hope this name-shouting turns into closeness with your father, because this week you get to spend it all with him! Miss Kelly, your daycare provider, is on a much needed vacation, so it's Daddy-Baby time all week!

Uh oh, you've decided you need some attention. Oh, what was that? You said 'Mama' again!!

Little Lily, I love you so much.

Wigglebug

Dear Lillian,
You are 7 months old. No teeth yet, bald spot filling in, putting everything you find directly into your mouth. You learned to clap this week! And, for some obscure baby reason beyond my adult brain, you have decided you like to SHOUT. Not just anything, either- you like to continually shout 'DADA!'

Now, I know your first word was Mama, and I should be pleased with this... but I'd like for you to actually say it once in a while! It's like, once you learned how to say Dada, it became your favorite thing to say. Your father, of course, loves it.

Bath time is becoming your favorite time. We had been bathing you in a little pink newborn tub over the kitchen sink, but recently you became very interested in the kitchen sponges, dish soap, and other things a baby should not put in your mouth. So I bit the bullet, and filled up the big tub. You love it. Splash splash splash! It's great.

Currently, you are wiggling around at my feet. And I just want you to know, my little Wigglebug, how much I love you.